Welcome!

I would like to welcome you if you are reading this blog.  I have worked this evening on getting my blog set up, so I will not be posting tonight.  However, stay tuned because I will be posting soon.  I communicate best through written text.  I am not the best on expressing myself verbally, hence the blogger name Shy Ruby Lynn!
In my "neck of the woods" mental illness is very taboo.  It's not talked about and if you do talk about it, then you are labeled the "neighborhood crazy".  Any mistake you make and any choice you make is analyzed and it all comes back to "Well, she is crazy you know".  I often feel like the lepers in the Old Testament, but thank the dear Lord I can hide my lesions.  Only my very close friends know of my illness and the struggles I have faced.  They know my journey, only them.  I can't even talk to my family about it.  The only family member who knows is my husband, who has been very supportive.  My grandmother is in denial that she has any type of mental defect and so is my aunt.  They have coped through extra-marital affairs, prescription drugs (none of which are treatments for bipolar disorder), alcohol, and spending lavish amounts of money.  My other aunt has been institutionalized before when she had a mental breakdown, but that of course is not talked about.  I don't see her much and I am not sure about how she copes or if she even deals with her mental disorder.  I see the outward appearance she portrays to everybody...the nice house with a pool, nice vehicles, seemingly perfect children with the best of everything, and a wonderful husband.  Things are not perfect, but I don't know how things truely are because it's not up for discussion.  My mother was diagnosed bipolar.  She never found a medication that made her feel better, so she finally stopped trying.  I love my mother dearly so anything I say about her is not done in malice and should not be misconstrued.  I am here to speak the truth, otherwise what is the point?  My mother had severe mood swings.  She coped through food.  It affected her health tremendously and I lost my mother at the young age of 17, a pivotal time in my life.  She was only 41.
I feel like I need a place to share my story and to get my feelings out there.  I want to connect with people.  This is why I chose blogging.  I hope that my blog can help and inspire somebody.  There will be blogs about dealing with the grief process of losing my mother, being the caretaker of elderly grandparents (one of which has undiagnosed bipolar disease and is now dealing with undiagnosed dementia and possible Alzheimer's disease), being a single income home in this economy, my devotion to the institution of marriage and the love for my husband, and the joys and hardships of raising two boys.  There are so many things that I have to write about, not just focusing on bipolar disorder.  I hope you will follow and read my blog.  My goal is to help somebody and also to help myself heal.  Thank you for clicking on my blog and I hope you will follow the adventures of my very complicated life!  I promise laughs and tears, but always only the blunt and honest truth about my life.  Feel free to ask any questions or leave any comments....anytime, any blog post!  Once again, WELCOME!